Thursday, September 24, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Vaux Vaux Vaux
I started work two weeks ago. The first week was staff development and stuff like putting together my classroom. My classroom has beautiful bulletin boards that I spent a lot of time on...however, the students don't seem to care very much. Chumps.
The People I Work With: RULE. Everyone is extremely nice and helpful. I couldn't be happier with my coworkers. There are also a few new teachers that I've become friends with, and that's really nice. I look forward to coming to work each day because I know that, if nothing else, there are wonderful people going through the same things as me.
So...last week was intense. Tuesday there was a 14 year old murdered on Cecil B. Moore and 29th. He was the brother of one of my current students, related to two of my summer school students, and the friend of a few more of my students. I wish the children around here didn't have to grow up so fast.
I remember over summer school that one of my student's said that one of his rights is to stay out as late as he wants because he's a grown man. He's 17. He, like all the students at Vaux, is far from grown. I don't really know how to explain that to them, though. It's hard to explain that being grown is having control over your actions through doing what is right, and what needs to be done. Being grown is not doing whatever the fuck you want because nobody is standing up to you. There is a big difference between being independent and being abandoned.
Anyway, that was day two. I mean, the finding out about that little boy. It was horrifying. It's just one of those things that no matter how much I know it's inevitable, it still shocks the hell out of me.
Day two I found out one of my 14 year olds is pregnant. Jesus Christ. Today...a week later...my students found it necessary to start talking about how none of them are virgins. They're 14-15. That's gross. I told them that's gross, but they didn't care. They did stop talking about it when I told them to, though. That's about the only thing they've done that I've said to do.
I found out that the grandmother of one of my students is suing the school district because they screwed up her education. Big Surprise. It's hard to find a student at this school that hasn't been screwed over by at least one negligent teacher. Apparently she's showing her grandmother everything I give her to do, which is terrifying. I've been teaching for a week and I'm going to be put under the microscope by some attorney. I think they're trying to show that it's the district and not just the former school that is inadequate. The lawyer picked Vaux, probably because we're out of compliance on some of our paperwork. The thing is, I can't really go to court and say "LOOK BUDDY, I'M TRYING." The attorney doesn't care that I"m trying really hard to be a good teacher, or that our Special Education liaison is working extremely hard to get this girl's paper work in order, or that we really do have a good special education team that really wants to help these kids. All those "reallys" just aren't good enough. It doesn't prove anything. It's very overwhelming.
I love my students. I do. But they just won't listen to me. They have no attention span. And they're so far behind it just takes so long to do anything. I feel like I'm not teaching, and that depresses the hell out of me. I wish they hated me and did all their work. Instead they like me and talk out of turn too much. I think that's the problem: I'm young and they know I love them. I'm giving out detentions left and right.
I will get them to listen to me. I will get them to do their work. I will get them to learn. I will get them to make AYP.
The People I Work With: RULE. Everyone is extremely nice and helpful. I couldn't be happier with my coworkers. There are also a few new teachers that I've become friends with, and that's really nice. I look forward to coming to work each day because I know that, if nothing else, there are wonderful people going through the same things as me.
So...last week was intense. Tuesday there was a 14 year old murdered on Cecil B. Moore and 29th. He was the brother of one of my current students, related to two of my summer school students, and the friend of a few more of my students. I wish the children around here didn't have to grow up so fast.
I remember over summer school that one of my student's said that one of his rights is to stay out as late as he wants because he's a grown man. He's 17. He, like all the students at Vaux, is far from grown. I don't really know how to explain that to them, though. It's hard to explain that being grown is having control over your actions through doing what is right, and what needs to be done. Being grown is not doing whatever the fuck you want because nobody is standing up to you. There is a big difference between being independent and being abandoned.
Anyway, that was day two. I mean, the finding out about that little boy. It was horrifying. It's just one of those things that no matter how much I know it's inevitable, it still shocks the hell out of me.
Day two I found out one of my 14 year olds is pregnant. Jesus Christ. Today...a week later...my students found it necessary to start talking about how none of them are virgins. They're 14-15. That's gross. I told them that's gross, but they didn't care. They did stop talking about it when I told them to, though. That's about the only thing they've done that I've said to do.
I found out that the grandmother of one of my students is suing the school district because they screwed up her education. Big Surprise. It's hard to find a student at this school that hasn't been screwed over by at least one negligent teacher. Apparently she's showing her grandmother everything I give her to do, which is terrifying. I've been teaching for a week and I'm going to be put under the microscope by some attorney. I think they're trying to show that it's the district and not just the former school that is inadequate. The lawyer picked Vaux, probably because we're out of compliance on some of our paperwork. The thing is, I can't really go to court and say "LOOK BUDDY, I'M TRYING." The attorney doesn't care that I"m trying really hard to be a good teacher, or that our Special Education liaison is working extremely hard to get this girl's paper work in order, or that we really do have a good special education team that really wants to help these kids. All those "reallys" just aren't good enough. It doesn't prove anything. It's very overwhelming.
I love my students. I do. But they just won't listen to me. They have no attention span. And they're so far behind it just takes so long to do anything. I feel like I'm not teaching, and that depresses the hell out of me. I wish they hated me and did all their work. Instead they like me and talk out of turn too much. I think that's the problem: I'm young and they know I love them. I'm giving out detentions left and right.
I will get them to listen to me. I will get them to do their work. I will get them to learn. I will get them to make AYP.
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