So, I've written a lot of things down, but this library computer doesn't have the thingy where I put my other thingy in to make it work. That's what she said. Also, my vocabulary is very mature, just as my jokes.

Things I Didn't Write About:

On Friday I did end up going to the bar. I went to Triple Shot Tavern, and it was a towny hole with 7 oz. beers called "ponies" and it was cash only. I got one disappointing bottle of booze and high-tailed it over to the Memphis Taproom where I knew they accepted debit cards. I forgot my glasses and so couldn't read the board wit the list of beers. It turned out okay, though, because the bartender just picked my beer for me and she was really good at it. I think she liked having that job because she told everyone I was her favorite customer of the night. Her name was Jessica.

At the bar I made bar friends with this dude named Matt who was kind of a douchebag. He said some things I didn't agree with and made a big deal about having a good job despite not graduating high school. I didn't even ask if he graduated or not. It really bugs me when guys act like jerks because they don't want me to be smarter than them. Anyway, talking to him was good enough since I hadn't talked to anyone in (3) days.

To Change the Subject: There's a mouse living in my kitchen. I can hear him frisking around in there, but I can't kill him. I accidentally saw him and he's really cute so I named him Freddie. Freddie appeared after I was really lonely, so maybe he knew. I can't kill a little guy for knowing I wanted a friend, even if he is a rodent. I also can't get electronic rodent repellant because of Murray and Zhiu-Zhiu. I would like to build a trap that doesn't kill him, but first I have to figure out how to do that. Here's the conversation Zofia and I had about Freddie (Watch for my really good joke!):

Colleen: There's a mouse named Freddie living in our kitchen. I can't kill him.
Zofia: Well, I'd just leave the back door open and hope he leaves on his own.
Colleen: Okay, but if he invites friends I'm blaming you, and I may also let them use your food to to feed their colony. I imaging that mice living in a colony would name it RODENToake.

Jeez Oh Pete, I'm one funny girl.

Here's another joke I thought of: starting a band called PUNKtuation and purposely misusing colons.

I thought of another one yesterday, but now I don't remember it. Next time I'll write it down.

Today I got a postcard in the mail from Amanda! She's a really great pen pal and her postcard made me giggle a lot while walking down my street. Here's what it said:

"Dear Colleen,

I've always wanted someone to write to. So I can say things like, "It's true what they say, 'Distance makes the heart grow fonder.'" But, I'm goig to talk about my sink. There is a sulfuric smell coming from it. I'm pretty sure this is something inherent to old buildings. So there is nothingI can do but embrace it.

All my love,

Amanda"

Best Postcard Ever.

Also, here's a really funny message Perot sent me:

"Hello!

I have just read your blog, and I am excited that your house is excellent. I am sorry that I haven't responded to your text messages, but it is terribly expensive because of international charges, so I have to limit myself. Berlin is very nice and very modern. The best thing I have seen is the Misbegotten Fetus Gallery in the History of German Medicine Museum. Aside from that, I have just been eating lots of Wurst, which is kind of like a Big Jack Daddy Burger, in that there are, in all likelihood, four kinds of meat in it. The main difference, is that I probably don't want to know what kinds of meat they are.

Yours,
-Perot"

I think I'm going to head to the Memphis Taproom and read my SPED guidebook. Check ya l8r!

First Things First

Sunday I moved into my new row house. My address is:

2624 E. Letterly St.
Philadelphia, PA 19125

Write to me and send me things because I'd like that.

My apartment is extremely adorable: the lady who owns it has great taste and a lot of quirky, interesting knickknacks. I will post pictures as soon as I am able to do so. The guy next door put a lock on his internet, so I have to figure out how to either hack into his or how to buy my own. It's up in the air.

There are a bunch of kids in the area playing games and running around. I may or may not steal of a couple of them. And a lot of people walk around, which makes me feel safer.

The house is within (4) blocks of (3) bars. Perfect. One bar, Ye Old Blarney Stone Tavern, is a total hole. And not in the way that I had wanted. There were a bunch of old people with stump limbs hanging out and getting rowdy. They only serve cans and bottles of beer, including mini bottle which look bizarre. They claim to serve food, but I'm pretty sure that's referring to the instant Beef Ramen Noodle Bowls that were stacked in a corner. I probably won't go there again...except I know I will. There is another bar (3) blocks up Letterly and (1) block to the right on Cumberland called the Memphis Tap Room. That bar is really great. Perry and I went there for dinner and they have delicious food and a wonderful beer selection. There aren't that many draughts, but the ones they have are all craft. I had a local stout and a Swedish porter. The people in there were pretty young and trendy (perhaps too trendy for someone like me that wears only solids and the occasional striped shirt). There were bearded men that I plan to hit on. There is also another bar called the Triple Shot Tavern. I haven't gone there yet, but I'm probably going to go tomorrow when I'm left all alone.

Other Things Around My House: trashy fast food, a grocery store, weird strip mall stores, a hoagie shop, a water ice place, and a ROCK AND ROLL EXXON. I didn't go in there, but I'm pretty sure it's going to be Wicked Awesome. I plan to explore more things in the next week when Zofia's away being a camp counselor.

By now I'm sure you're all wondering about Zofia. She's wonderful. She's very funny and nice and the right amount of talkative. We chatted for hours yesterday with no breaks and it was really fun. I think we're going to become great friends. Plus, she's adorable, which means I don't have to start having ugly friends. That would have been a real bummer. The only downside is that she leaves for a week starting tomorrow morning, so I'm probably going to get bored by myself. Especially since we don't have internet and cable. Right now I'm pining for Stumble Upon and Daisy of Love. My life is slowly re-approaching shambles.

Yesterday Perry and I went downtown to hang out. We walked along South St., went to some Irish Pubs, and ate Philly Cheesesteaks. Awesome. We tried to go to the Liberty Bell, but there was no street parking and the garages have a height limit of 6' 4", which is too baby for an F150 XL. Dang Blast It! After that we decided to go back to the house and drink beer. Oh, PENNSYLVANIA IS WEIRD ABOUT ALCOHOL. You can only buy alcohol in state owned stores, which mostly aren't open on Sunday. And, the beer stores are like warehouses, so you can only buy cases of beer. It's very strange. But you can get takeout alcohol from bars. It's all backwards here.







I've been thinking that since I'm about to have an adult job I should start doing adult things. That means I'm going to start wearing heels, infuse oil with things and bake my own bread. I was thinking about quilting, but that may be a too old activity.


In Other News: I'm totally not looking forward to unpacking.
In Other Other News: I need to stop writing here and start filling out my SDP application for the interview I have in an hour.