So, I've written a lot of things down, but this library computer doesn't have the thingy where I put my other thingy in to make it work. That's what she said. Also, my vocabulary is very mature, just as my jokes.

Things I Didn't Write About:

On Friday I did end up going to the bar. I went to Triple Shot Tavern, and it was a towny hole with 7 oz. beers called "ponies" and it was cash only. I got one disappointing bottle of booze and high-tailed it over to the Memphis Taproom where I knew they accepted debit cards. I forgot my glasses and so couldn't read the board wit the list of beers. It turned out okay, though, because the bartender just picked my beer for me and she was really good at it. I think she liked having that job because she told everyone I was her favorite customer of the night. Her name was Jessica.

At the bar I made bar friends with this dude named Matt who was kind of a douchebag. He said some things I didn't agree with and made a big deal about having a good job despite not graduating high school. I didn't even ask if he graduated or not. It really bugs me when guys act like jerks because they don't want me to be smarter than them. Anyway, talking to him was good enough since I hadn't talked to anyone in (3) days.

To Change the Subject: There's a mouse living in my kitchen. I can hear him frisking around in there, but I can't kill him. I accidentally saw him and he's really cute so I named him Freddie. Freddie appeared after I was really lonely, so maybe he knew. I can't kill a little guy for knowing I wanted a friend, even if he is a rodent. I also can't get electronic rodent repellant because of Murray and Zhiu-Zhiu. I would like to build a trap that doesn't kill him, but first I have to figure out how to do that. Here's the conversation Zofia and I had about Freddie (Watch for my really good joke!):

Colleen: There's a mouse named Freddie living in our kitchen. I can't kill him.
Zofia: Well, I'd just leave the back door open and hope he leaves on his own.
Colleen: Okay, but if he invites friends I'm blaming you, and I may also let them use your food to to feed their colony. I imaging that mice living in a colony would name it RODENToake.

Jeez Oh Pete, I'm one funny girl.

Here's another joke I thought of: starting a band called PUNKtuation and purposely misusing colons.

I thought of another one yesterday, but now I don't remember it. Next time I'll write it down.

Today I got a postcard in the mail from Amanda! She's a really great pen pal and her postcard made me giggle a lot while walking down my street. Here's what it said:

"Dear Colleen,

I've always wanted someone to write to. So I can say things like, "It's true what they say, 'Distance makes the heart grow fonder.'" But, I'm goig to talk about my sink. There is a sulfuric smell coming from it. I'm pretty sure this is something inherent to old buildings. So there is nothingI can do but embrace it.

All my love,

Amanda"

Best Postcard Ever.

Also, here's a really funny message Perot sent me:

"Hello!

I have just read your blog, and I am excited that your house is excellent. I am sorry that I haven't responded to your text messages, but it is terribly expensive because of international charges, so I have to limit myself. Berlin is very nice and very modern. The best thing I have seen is the Misbegotten Fetus Gallery in the History of German Medicine Museum. Aside from that, I have just been eating lots of Wurst, which is kind of like a Big Jack Daddy Burger, in that there are, in all likelihood, four kinds of meat in it. The main difference, is that I probably don't want to know what kinds of meat they are.

Yours,
-Perot"

I think I'm going to head to the Memphis Taproom and read my SPED guidebook. Check ya l8r!